ok here i sit with my lap top and i’m tuning into my mind and just letting it flow, allowing my fingers to flow over the keys as the thoughts come in and out into words on the screen. i have been a busy boy and part of that has been my doing, not getting things done on time, waiting, watching tv instead of working or reading, there is so much that i want to do that sometimes all i see is the big picture and this is way too big to hold onto, so what happens, well i stop, i give up and have to pick my self up and start again. maybe i am not starting again, maybe it just picking up for where i left off? this is possible, perhaps it is also me giving myself a breather? balance is the word that comes to mind, i have to find balance or allow myself to be balanced. to accept that life is good and that i am doing wonderful things, and yes there are more things that i could do, but this will all happen in time. i don’t need to rush into anything, what i do need and want to do is to keep up my energy, keep the flow flowing, stand tall and believe in myself. i was reading a book the other day that spoke about belief, desire, confidence. and they are the things that i need to hold onto, i’m sure there are some more and through my reading i will find them, it’s funny how some of the books are a joy to read and others, well lets just say they take a little longer, whats that all about, is it that they are written badly or is it that i find their message challenging? i know that part of my challenge is that i am not sure about what i want, i want to help others be the best that they can be, a coach, a teacher, i also like working in partnership, although at the moment i’m not being a very good partner, kinda taking over, part of that is as i see people working and not doing it the way i would i kinda take over…the other day during a workshop i wanted to say to the person i was working with, what are you doing, come on get your finger out, and watch your language, how ca people that work in schools say that kinda stuff in the play ground, they might as well get out a fag and light up, lol.

so what do i do? what is the next step?working hard, getting things in place, focus on what you want to do, take a look at the big picture and pull all the strands together so that you can see how it all works together, because it’s all you so there has to be connections, find the connections and pull them together and see the direction that they point to.